Episode 042 – The Intuitively You Podcast
How To Forgive Yourself After a Binge
As hard as you tried not to, you binged. Again. Now what? It can be easy to slip into a spiral filled with negative thoughts, shame, guilt, and beating yourself up. I know, because I’ve been there too. Those negative shame spirals don’t feel good and are totally not helpful to your overall well-being. You know that, but what can you actually do about it? Let’s chat about how to forgive yourself after a binge.
In this article, I want to give you a resource that you can use after a binge. Walking you through what you can do to feel even a little better after binge eating, and move on!
Self Compassion
Self compassion is arguably one of the most key skills to develop to overcome binge eating, overeating, and emotional eating. Without self compassion, we’re left sitting with our nasty inner critics that just like to put us down and hyper focus on everything we’re doing wrong. Self compassion turns this inner narrative around.
Self compassion is, by definition:
“A self-attitude that involves treating oneself with warmth and understanding in difficult times and recognizing that making mistakes is part of being human”
– Society for Personality and Social Psychology
How to Cultivate Self Compassion
Cultivating self compassion, especially after binge eating, sounds easier than it may feel in practice. It can actually be quite difficult if you’re not used to practicing it. Keyword here: practice. Just like anything, in order to make self compassion a skill that comes easily to you, you have to practice it!
Some ways to start practicing self compassion when forgiving yourself after a binge:
- Ask yourself “what would I say to a friend if they were in this same situation?” Then tell yourself the same.
- Validate your feelings. It makes sense you’re feeling upset from this experience. Your feelings are valid.
- Imagine yourself hugging your inner child. Visualize this. Let your inner child know that they’re okay, and you’re both going to be okay together.
- Give yourself a real hug. Wrap your arms around your body and breathe deeply.
No Making Up For What You Ate
Quickly after a binge you might find yourself thinking, “Well what am I going to do to make up for this now?” Maybe you have thoughts of skipping your next meal, eating less or “clean” tomorrow, going to the gym, etc. Please know that this making-up-for thinking isn’t helpful and is actually keeping you stuck in the binge-restrict cycle.
What to do Instead
Instead of trying to make up for what you ate, just move on as per usual. Have your next meal as you usually would (while still listening to your hunger and fullness cues of course!).
Yes, it can be scary to have “extra calories” that you consumed from the binge. But, it’s important to break the cycle. And if you go back into restricting it’s more inevitable that you end up binge eating yet again. Your body is smart, much smarter than you think. It will continue to take care of you even after a binge!
Soothing and Nurturing Yourself
If you’ve binged before, you know how crummy you can feel afterward. Both physically and mentally. Part of learning how to forgive yourself after a binge is learning how to give yourself some comfort and nurturing. I’ve given you examples below, but what’s true to you? What makes you feel better and more comfortable?
Maybe part of this nurturing also looks like sitting with the discomfort. Fact is, you’re likely going to feel uncomfortable after a binge, and that’s okay. It makes sense. Trying to do a 180 and completely turn things around to feeling great in that moment likely isn’t going to be possible. That’s just not human!
Accept the fact that you’ll likely feel uncomfortable, don’t fight it. And at the same time, practice some ways of soothing and nurturing yourself to feel a little better! This will help you get through the challenging time.
Nurture Your Physical Body
What would be really comforting to your physical body after a binge? Here are some ideas for you:
- Make a tea
- Put on cozy clothes
- Snuggle up with a comfy blanket
- Go for a gentle walk
- Ginger chews if your stomach is upset
- Hot water bottle
- Shake it off or dance it out
Nurture Your Mind & Soul
What would be really comforting to your mind & soul after a binge? Here are some ideas for you:
- Do a guided meditation (Hint: the Food Freedom Mindset Bundle is great for this! There’s even a specific guided audio for ‘After a Binge or Overeating’)
- Deep breathing
- Talking to someone supportive
- Journal out your thoughts
- Do something joyful
- Use a mantra (more on this below)
Create a Mantra
A mantra is something that you can keep in your back pocket to use whenever you need it. You can use it in any way that works best for you. For example, you could say it outloud or in your mind to yourself, write it out in a journal, make it your phone lock screen, or put a sticky note on your mirror with it.
Whatever way you choose to use a mantra, what’s important is that it’s something that hits home for you. You can keep the tool of self compassion in mind when creating your mantra. What would be something that would feel comforting or kind to say to yourself after a binge?
Some mantra ideas for how to forgive yourself after binge eating:
- “I am safe. It’s okay. I’m going to be okay.”
- “I deserve to treat myself and my body with respect, even if I just binged.”
- “I forgive myself for bingeing. I choose to move forward with kindness.”
Why This is All So Important
Learning how to forgive yourself after a binge is a key step to getting unstuck from the cycle. The binge-restrict cycle needs to be broken at some point in order for you to stop binge eating. Breaking the cycle starts with everything I mentioned in this article.
I want nothing more than for you to break the cycle!
How to Forgive Yourself After Binge Eating: Putting it All Together
Let’s sum it all up and give you a little takeaway from this article to remember. Here are the tools that you can use to start forgiving yourself and feeling better after a binge:
- Practice self compassion.
- No more making up for what you ate, just move on as usual.
- Soothe and nurture your physical body, mind and soul.
- Create a post-binge mantra.
Know that even when practicing these things, there is no such thing as perfect. Overcoming binge eating can be a messy journey filled with lots of ups and downs. Just never give up and you can experience your food freedom, hopefully soon than you think. You got this my friend!
Ready For More Support?
Embodied Food Freedom is my highly supportive binge eating group coaching program. This program was carefully crafted to take you from binge eating, overeating, and emotionally eating to embodying your version of food freedom. If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in the cycle of binge eating, I’d love to support you in finding peace and freedom with food inside of EFF! Click here to apply or join the waitlist.
Take the Free Quiz: I have a completely free why do you binge eat quiz that will help you figure out what’s keeping you stuck in the binge eating cycle and holding you back from food freedom the most at this time.
Jenn is a non-diet Registered Dietitian and Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor that helps women overcome binge eating, overeating, and emotional eating so that they can embody their version of food freedom. Jenn is dedicated to helping guide her clients and community to leave all of the “shoulds” of diet culture in the past and find confidence in their own inner wisdom to guide their eating decisions, increase their self-worth, and embody their most authentic selves.
