What is an Unhealthy Relationship With Food?  

If you feel out of control around food, stressed about your eating habits, or a lot of guilt and shame towards your eating choices, you might have an unhealthy relationship with food. Now, around here we don’t love to put labels on things and talk in an all-or-nothing way. The purpose of this article is to help you understand more about your personal relationship with food. 

There’s no one definition of an unhealthy relationship with food, but it could be generally thought of as eating behaviours that are contributing to poor mental, physical, or emotional health and well-being. I’m hoping that the signs that I’ve outlined below help you understand more about how we interact with food and what might be considered ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy.’ 

You might have some signs that point towards an unhealthy relationship with food. But that’s OKAY. Please know that! This is not some kind of label to assign yourself. And this is most definitely not saying that you’re *doomed* in your relationship with food if you have these signs. Actually quite the opposite. If you’re here reading this, chances are you’re looking to improve your relationship with food. And that’s amazing! 

Take these signs below as a way to learn more information about yourself. They will help you to create a roadmap to show you the specific areas that you might want to work on or get support with. 

Healthy vs. Unhealthy

Before we dive in, there’s one more important note that I need you to know. In this article we’re talking about things in terms of ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy,’ but this is just to paint a clear picture of these concepts for you. What we don’t want to do is start labeling different foods as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy.’ (More on this in sign number 8.) After all, working towards a positive relationship with food means letting go of the all-or-nothing thinking about food! 

Signs You Have an Unhealthy Relationship With Food

Now I want to be clear – these are signs that you *might* have a not-so-great relationship with food. Just things to look out for! At the end of the day, you & your health care team are the only ones who can determine what your personal circumstances are with food. 

Please don’t let this list stress you out even more. Let it inform you instead. Let it be a gentle nudge into the right direction of what you might want to take a further look at in order to find your version of food freedom. Now, let’s dive into the 13 potential signs of unhealthy relationship with food: 

1. You’re thinking about food all the time 

If you find yourself always thinking about what you’re going to eat next, overanalyzing what you just ate, stressing about your food choices, obsessing over how to be ‘good’ with your eating, etc. You might be caught up in what many of my clients describe as thinking about food 24/7.

These food thoughts typically are quite negative in nature. It could even lead to increasing feelings of anxiety. Your brain space then gets taken up by these food thoughts, displacing the mental energy you need to really enjoy your life. I’m sure there are many things that are much more important to you than food, but you can’t seem to drop the constant food thoughts.

2. You feel guilty about eating certain foods

The food guilt. This one, just like many of these signs, is a product of diet culture. Diet culture teaches us that certain foods are foods that are ‘bad’ or ‘junk’ or ‘unhealthy’ and that we should feel back for eating them. When in reality, this looming guilt about food is actually a sign of a not-so-great relationship with food.

All foods fit and play different roles in our lives. Some foods are more nourishing for our physical bodies, and some are more nourishing for our souls. Both are needed. What we don’t need is the guilt that makes us feel so bad about ourselves and our food choices. That’s not positively adding to your well-being in any way! 

3. You binge eat and feel out of control around food often 

Binge eating and feeling out of control are pretty sure fire signs that you might have an unhealthy relationship with food. Binge eating is having a large amount of food within a relatively short period of time, and is accompanied with a feeling of loss of control.

It can feel so frustrating and lonely to be struggling with binge eating. Almost as if you’re stuck in it and just can’t stop yourself. I personally have a past of struggling with many food related issues, including binge eating. This is why I’m so passionate about helping you and others break free of the binge eating cycle and find your version of food freedom.

4. You can’t keep your favourite foods in the house

If you feel as thought you just have to keep your favourite foods out of the house because you can’t control yourself around them, that’s a sign that your relationship with those foods could use a little love. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not normal to have to *banish* foods from your home. 

Did you know that by keeping those foods you feel this way around out of the house that you’re actually making yourself feel even more out of control around them? This is due to something called the forbidden fruit effect. If you forbid something (especially when it’s a fav food), it makes that magnetizing feeling of not being able to leave it alone even stronger.  

5. You use food to soothe yourself from your emotions 

Sometimes emotional eating is absolutely okay! It can be a completely valid coping mechanism for tough to handle emotions. However, it becomes more of a problem when food turns into your main source of coping. Especially if the emotional eating is causing you more distress in the long run.

We want to have a variety of emotional coping skills in our toolbox in order to handle emotions in a kind, compassionate and more helpful way. Always soothing with food is not a long term strategy for feeling better with our emotions. At the same time, I do know how hard it can be to stop this habit! Food can easily become a source of numbing, distraction, comfort, and much more.

6. It’s stressful to go out to eat or to events with food around

If you find it really stressful to live your life and go to a restaurant or event because of the food, that could be a sign you might have an unhealthy relationship with food. It could even be that you actually say no to going to things with your family and friends because it’s just too stress and guilt inducing. 

You deserve to be able to live life fully and enjoy whatever food makes you feel your best. When you improve your relationship with food, date nights, girls nights, family BBQs, weddings, get-togethers, and everything else become times you can enjoy and be present for instead of having the food stress take over.

7. You feel like you have to make up for what you eat 

Feeling like you need to make up for certain things you eat is our 7th sign that you have an unhealthy relationship with food. Maybe it’s only certain foods, or if you go over certain amounts of food. 

Whatever it is, please know that you are always deserving of eating food. There should be no punishments attached to eating. If you had an experiencing of bingeing or overeating, please know that you can carry on as per usual. Without having to further restrict yourself, because that just perpetuates the restrict-binge cycle.

8. You think about foods in terms of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ 

When you think of spinach do you think “good?” Or maybe when you think of ice cream you think “bad?” There are many reasons you should stop labelling food as “good” or “bad”. This way of thinking can really negatively impact your relationship with food. 

Food is food. Eating is not a moral decision. Food decisions shouldn’t make you feel like you’re a good or bad person for having certain things.

9. You’re stuck in the diet mentality 

Diet culture impacts us all. If you’re like me, or many of my clients, you may have started dieting at a really young age. And if that’s the case, you’ve likely been thinking in alignment with the diet mentality for years and years. That diet mentality can be a difficult one to shake. 

Arguably the most difficult to shake of the diet mentality is the idea that a smaller body = a better body. And the pursuit of that means needing to have restriction, willpower, and guilt in your relationship with food. However it shows up, the diet mentality can be harmful to your overall well-being.

10. You have rules about what, how much, and when you can eat

This can show up like viewing foods as just a certain number of calories or points. Maybe it’s that you can’t eat at or past certain times. Or that you have to eat in alignment with a certain diet pattern (i.e. keto, paleo, plant-based,etc.). 

Food rules are only going to keep you stuck in the diet cycle and unable to embody true food freedom. Inside Embodied Food Freedom, we work on making peace with all foods and ditching the food rules, all in a non-overwhelming way! 

11. You eat mindlessly and don’t understand your body’s cues

If you find yourself never truly paying attention to your meals, that may be a sign your relationship with food needs a little more presence from you. Maybe it’s that you just don’t understand or can’t feel your hunger or fullness cues.

Being able to become more aware of your eating habits and your body’s internal cues will help you to feel better overall. Plus it makes eating more peaceful and gives you more confidence!

12. How you feel about your body dictates how you eat

This one ties into the diet mentality of always being in pursuit of a smaller body. For example. If you have a not-so-great body image day, you might find yourself thinking “ugh, I’m just so much bigger than before, maybe I should try to eat clean again tomorrow.” Or maybe you skip meals based on how your body image is. 

I want you to know this – no matter what size, shape, weight, etc. your body is, you deserve to eat! You need to nourish your body consistently every day to improve your relationship with food and overcome binge eating. 

13. You just don’t feel good about your relationship with food

You don’t need a whole big legitimate explanation to pursue food freedom for yourself. If you just feel “off” in your relationship with food, that’s enough to take a closer look and potentially get some support! 

Can You Relate? Next Steps to Take:

If you can relate to any of the above 13 signs you have an unhealthy relationship with food, here are some things you can do to move forward now:

• Take the Free Quiz: I have a completely free why do you binge eat quiz that will help you figure out what’s keeping you stuck in the binge eating cycle and holding you back from food freedom the most at this time.
• Food Freedom Reflection: Get your journal out and answer these questions. How do I feel about my relationship with food right now? What do I want my relationship with food to be like? What’s one small step that I can take to get closer to my goals? 
• Tune Into the Podcast: The Intuitively You Podcast is a space where you can listen to empowering convos about all things binge eating, food freedom, body image, mindset uplevels, and becoming your most authentic self.
• Get Support: I have a highly supportive binge eating coaching program that is designed to help you take all the steps you need to so you can embody your version of food freedom. Some other great places to look for support: Intuitive Eating Counselor directory, National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC), National Eating Disorders Association, and my other intuitive eating coaching services.